And for my next trick …
Ok, so I thought that writing a book was actually the hard part. Turns out that no, no it wasn’t. The really hard part is everything that comes after, from formatting for Kindle and print to creating clickable links and teeny tiny versions of your book cover.
Putting it all together
Even the simplest technological tasks loom large for me. So cutting and pasting the 300+ pages of Dangerous Habits into a template for printing, and also stripping the formatting from the original document to create an HTML for uploading to Kindle required levels of concentration I found extremely daunting.
On top of that, I’m not that great at sequencing tasks either. Many a time I’ve prepared multiple handouts for a meeting only to discover that several of the stapled-together packets contain three page fives, no page two and that I have several page sixes left with no place to go.
Those two handicaps resulted in multiple fails in the post-writing production process.
And then there’s the promotion
But that was as nothing compared to the levels of despair I reached trying to create this website (even with a WordPress template to work from), then upload photos and create clickable links and convert jpegs to PDFs (and I’m really only parroting words here I’m not at all sure what that all means).
Some of it happened through the kindness of friends and other parts came to be by dint of banging my head slowly on the desk and then hitting multiple keys and hoping for the best.
But some of it had to easy, right?
I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached the easy part of the process. Posting on Facebook. How hard could that be? People post every day. I’ve had a Facebook account for years.
The thing is, I never post anything on my timeline. Ever. I might occasionally “like” something or very rarely comment on a friend’s post, but one extremely regrettable incident at work some years ago involving a department-wide listserv left me seriously wary of sending out to the masses what is intended for the few.
But I decided to chance it to let some old friends and work acquaintances know that I finally had written the book I’d been talking about for years.
I didn’t expect to get an avalanche of responses but I was surprised not to get even a “like” from some of the people on my friend list. Then I discovered that I had my privacy settings locked down so tight that my posts were visible only to me. Yes, that’s how you know you really are an introvert, when you only post with yourself on Facebook. Good grief.
I changed my settings, and after several misfires managed to get the Dangerous Habits book cover and a line or two about the content out.
Some days, it just doesn’t pay
Bloodied but unbowed, I moved on with a sense of confidence to email. Even I could do that. I mean, I send email every day. So, I sent a message to non-Facebook friends and included a link to my Amazon book page. Except no, I didn’t. I forgot to include the link. Then when I resent the message with the link, I inadvertently dropped in a line from a different message, thanking a friend for the beautiful flowers she’d sent me. Great. So then I sent another email explaining that I wasn’t actually trying to guilt people into sending me flowers.
All bad things must come to an end
By the time I was done, another friend emailed me and thanked me for the entertaining series of corrections I’d been sending out all day, which were like watching a devolving situation comedy.
So I will pause now to stare aimlessly out the window at the river winding by and the swans swimming in tandem and the heron landing on the bank and will not worry about what fresh hell tomorrow’s technology challenges will bring. Cheers.